What Next?

Hey I am an odd person. This isn't one of the things that I just realized, it has been my cross to bear for many years. Possibly God chose me to live this life because I was an average guy in the past. More than likely this has been the ordinary thing for my soul to suffer. I grew up a lonely child, alienated from the other children. I didn't think like the other people around me. I set my self apart in a time during a child's life when all one wants to do is fit in. My story is different and violent. I have a hard time relating to ordinary people, yet I am lucky to be able to attract extraordinary ones.
Most women will not speak to me , not for long anyway. I have no problem talking to women, the problem is finding women that will talk back to me. I have found that the higher the intelligence quotient of the woman the more likely I am to get further than Hi I am Tom. Being that women are mostly money hungry idiots I find that I am a stranger in a strange land, one which finds me strange. I have written quite often about how I am scared to die alone. That may be the only thing I fear. I don't need a woman to hold my hand while we walk down a dirt road in Texas, I want the woman who is going to hold my hand while I am dying. I have found several things that are bad in life. I believe the only thing worse than living alone is dying alone. I also believe that the only thing worse than not knowing who you are is knowing who you are and realizing there is no place in this world for you.
The stories I imagine are lonely stories where the guy doesn't get the girl. I also have an idea for another story set around 1950. It involves a WWII veteran who becomes a drifter type serial killer. He would drives a V-8 Ford sedan and wear Ely Plains shirts, Levis and cowboy boots. When he pulls up to the highway intersection in the country you can see his boots and jeans and see his identification tag swinging on his keys in the ignition switch while Hank Williams plays on the car radio. I love it.

Somebody Loves Me

Somebody Loves Me

Fuck Whores

I give up on finding a decent woman, I wasn't looking anyway. I have grasped the inevitability of dying alone. I feel like Ennis Del Mar, with only my children to provide solace. Eccentricity is one of my greatest fallacies, my name was appropriately chosen. I realize that Paris Hilton won't date regular guys, but I can't even get women who like regular guys. Maybe I should huff some paint so I can dumb down a bit, maybe try to watch some American Idol or whatever it is normal people watch nowadays. I lack the ability to carry on a normal conversation with most people, let alone women that qualify for my attention, even though they shouldn't if they fail to understand me. Face it women do not care about race relations, national sovereignty, constitutional law, economic disparity or any of the other things my mind tends to drift to. People just want to have a good time, they don't want to listen to things that matter. They just want to keep up with popular culture, celebrity lifestyles and keeping up with the Joneses.

Arriba Con Queso

Well the recruiter from TSI Aerospace called me again, he wants to hire me to build some helicopters for Sikorsky, this time he offered me an $11,300 sign on bonus. Yo no creo, I believe I will hold of on moving to where it gets balls cold, I have been in the South my whole life and I like to be warm and sunny. The guy was trying to tell my Philadelphia was only 45 minutes away, like that was really going to win me over. I know what is in Philadelphia, a bunch of uppity Yankee piece of shit turds. My ex-wife is such an selfish, scary beast idiot. I am so glad she is not my problem anymore, yet I long to have my family back, excluding her of course. That big bitch drove me crazy, no shit pill poppin’ crazy. I really shouldn’t, but I feel sorry for that fat stupid ugly motherfucker she married. He has no idea he just married two bitches. The beast told me he was smart, I said what kind of smart person married a fat ugly bitch with two kids less than two months out of a divorce? She had no comment on that one. I met the Mexican girl’s family; they were pretty nice to me. They better had been or I would have called ICE on them. The beast’s mother is a vindictive lady and she is fake as hell. I told her that her daughter was seeing someone else and she said “I raised my daughter better than that”. Well, I got news for you, your daughter is a fat ugly dirty slut, former barracks whore, and your son is a fucking creep. I am ten times the person that that family is, I wish my mom would have said NO that woman is a bitch EJECT, IT’S A TARP!!! The end.

Chicken Licken

What is up niaz? I am kicking it in this hot ass desert. My A/C in the house is broke and shit sucks. I found out my ex-wife is moving my kids to Hawaii and that really sucks ass. I am in some trouble at work, so instead of bending to meet the needs of stupid liberal pussies I am actively looking for new employment. Health wise I am doing fine, I have never been better. I like to go out and shoot innocent animals, here lately I have been trying my hand at calling in coyotes, but have only called one in so far and we missed him when we tried to kill him. Wile E. Coyote don’t fuck around maybe I should dress up like a big ass roadrunner and say meep meep or whatever the fuck that nerka says. I have not been saying to much lately because I usually write when I feel other than usual, which had been usual for quite a while. This one recruiter is trying to get me to work in PA building helicopters for Sikorsky. He is offering a $6,500 sign on bonus and guaranteeing five years of work at 90-100K a year. I don’t know, he told me it was Amish country so I don’t know how much trim I will be seeing. Does anyone know whether or not Amish chicks shave the bush? I am gonna get me one of those Sarah plain and talls, I don’t think they use birth control besides anal sex-natures birth control. I spent over 2 hours behind closed doors last Friday because I made some little bitch butthurt and checked his ass. Now I have to go behind closed doors again today with my site manager and the program manager. My site manager told me to either get along or move along. Well I think I might vote with my feet and move right on along, I ain’t the only one though. There are three other people that are tired of this shit too and they are moving along as well. I met a Mexican girl and she asked me if I was jealous and controlling. I told her that if I was either of those I would still be married because I never paid any attention to what my wife did and never told her what to do. She could come and go as she pleased and I am sure she did just that. That is probably how she managed to get remarried in less than two months after our divorce. The end.

Buy a Gat

Hello all you sheeple in TV land, I am going to let you in on a little secret. The role of the U.S. military is to kill brown people. The only reason we fought WWI and WWII was because they were trying to cut in on our action. George W. Bush said himself, nor any other president likes war. Bullshit. He started a war just like FDR did. Another thing if all the folks in New Orleans would have been white upper class yuppies, do you really believe there would have been a body count. The answer is hell no, they would have been evacuated quicker than shit. The truth is the man was responsible for blowing the levies, and starting the war in ragland. Why is this, simple, to kill brown people. It does not matter if they are at home or abroad. People in this country are retarded, trying to live like on TV, which puts them in debt. Does some stupid uppity white bitch really need to drive an Excursion with a diesel that would haul Rosie O'Donnel, again no. The fact is that the wage gap is increasing thus creating more poverty and making the rich richer. The war is on the middle class. Stay home on weekends, eat beans, drive a used SUV, and buy a gat.

Valentines day

Today is Saint Valentine’s Day, another day that is a waste of money. Kinda like X-mas except I don't have to buy shit for all my kids. Just think all across this country guys are spending their hard earned money on some undeserving bitch, all in hopes of getting some tang. Guys listen up Mexican hookers are cheaper, and you can throw it in their butt on the first date. Another thing, do you want to be the dumbass that spends mad bank for all that shit to give to some skirt, and then she fucks some other nigga. I ain't Donald Trump, but that sounds like a bad investment. Guys just do the following: Give that girl a puppy, and then she has to put up with that little bastard even if you ain't around. Then that "nikka" that is actually getting the panties will have to deal with your "present". If you can't handle the thought of that other nikka fucking your "investment" just picture your puppy licking his nuts while he is mid-stroke.

If you bitches recognize me from school, I am Tom. Every once in a while I will see some bad ass Mexican girl. You will know if I think you are hot, because I will say God bless Mexico. What has Mexico given us besides cheap labor, women you could eat alive, and burritos; which would leave the woman to do other things with, like making more Mexicans. What is up with wetback bitches, they wear high heels with everything, yall ever notice that. Them Mexican women wear the craziest shit, and they overdress for everything. Man, I am glad I married a white girl. I could not handle having to wait 3 hours on her to get ready to go to Jack in the Box. I do love me some mad hairy wetbax though, almost as much as I like choklit.
The reason the world is fucked up is because Adam just had to taste that sweet, sweet forbidden fruit of Eve. If that dumb ass would have held out Eve would have ate the forbidden banana instead and the world would be upside down. Women would work hard to get men, pay the checks, buy us drinks, but fuck no, that chump ass Adam had to assault that peach. That is the other problem, just like the serpent your woman is always listening to her friends instead of you, you know when she bust out with "well my friends think", knowing damn well her friends are a bunch of sluts just itching to whore themselves out to a chump that drives an Audi and wears boat shoes.

Another thing, women can move up and down the social ladder, it just depends on the socioeconomic status of the penis inserted in her jiz box. Men though; we are fucked, there ain't no Cinderella story for us I don't care how big that jimmy is or how pretty you are, bitches don't marry under their tax bracket. That is why there are so many bitter old bitches, cuz they marry for money and by the time they realize they fucked up, it’s too late to find love. I really hate generic bitches; you know the dime a dozen blonde high maintenance bitch that thinks I am going to buy her a drink in the bar, bitch pleez. I ain't buying you shit, you ain't anything special. No I ain't gay just not a chump. So when a bitch says the good men are either married or gay, she should really say that the men that don't want me are smart and I am just butt hurt cuz I am a stupid gold digging generic bitch. I just want to bust a nut in the hair of bitches like that. I was eating some Vienna sausage with hot sauce today, and later rubbed my eyes and that shit burned like a bitch.

Mad Max

So my doctor said I looked subdued and he was right I was really depressed from the Thanksgiving without a family. It went horrible, a long weekend with no one to be with. That is right Jr., it is the same Dr. that said there is no place in society for an entity such as myself. He prescribed me more booze, and that shit makes me anxious as a motherfucker. I said fuck it and drank some coffee too now I am all over the place scatterbrained and all. I am all crazy on stimulants both from coffee and my brain. I left my cellphone at home now I have to go way out in the country to get it before I leave for Riverside, Mexico womp womp negro. I saw a chupacabra crossing sign the last time I was in Riverside. I also saw mad colored people trying to live in a Mexican society. So I am a combination of anxious and depressed which can be common with people in my condition which supposedly only affects 1.5 to 2 million Americans which is a small percentage compared to the population. It is a major contributor to my divorce. I am not crazy just brain damaged. Yeah my doctor also told me that my behavior (he tells me I am not a habitual line crosser, but I LIVE on the other side of the line) is consistent with a person with frontal lobe damage. I wonder if that has anything to do with all the beatings I got as a little kid. I was only a little boy I can't help it I have brain damage. Now what am I suppose to do with no place in modern society for me, do I belong in the wild west, or in the Colosseum swinging a short sword? I believe that I was a soldier in many lives and was even eaten by lions in the Colosseum, thus my strong dislike of cats. Lions fucking ate me.

Wetbackistan

There was another earthquake last night, it was a 5.0 on the Ritcher scale. I thought the hovel was gonna come apart. Sure, I should move to L.A., they never have earthquakes there. Today was a lax day, I did very little at work even though I still need to be here for two more hours. I need to pack my shit because I am going out of town this weekend. I will be a good boy while I am gone. I use to like to drive fast when I had my five point ohs, yeah I had two of them. They were fast, I drove them alot. My friends all have sports cars and I drive a Volvo that is slow, well I did drive it, but the transmission broke on me. Fuck the Volvo in all its pimping glory. Fuck Mexico! I know it has been a while since I have been on a Wetbackistan kick, but them Mexicans (messins) are driving me crazy with their Spanish and their flour tortillas. Those bean powered motherfuckers are the reason my health care cost so much, them and the fact that everyone sues the doctors, so malpractice insurance premiums get passed on to the consumer-me. Assimilate or die motherfuckers, I shouldn't have to worry about pressing the English button at the ATM, speak English (ernglish) or you don't get any fucking money, wetback. A lot of folx think I am a racist, but since when was Mexican a race? Last I checked it was a nationality. Now negroid is a race of black people (buried word). This race usually enjoys a meal of tasty fried chicken just like I do because I am 1/8th black myself. I also like ham hox, and greens and all that other shit people probably shouldn't eat. How good could a fried chicken diet be? I was going to try a five dollar pizza diet, you know the five dollar pizza from little Caesar's. Anyway the thing is to eat a five dollar pizza everyday and that is all you eat. Not all at once but a piece or two every four hours. I wonder if anyone would actually lose weight or just get high blood pressure from all the sodium in the dough, pepperoni and cheese? Motherfuck it. I say I start a diet where you can kill all the kittens you want guilt free, then eat at the KFC buffet. How many calories do you think killing kittens burns? I say 100 calories an hour.

Real Cool Hand

I am talking about woman love, not man love, and definitely not that life changing Two Girls One Cup love. I feel as if I lack the capacity to love someone in the cliche manner. I have had women give me thier love, but I don't think it was unconditional. I have never loved anyone unconditionally, except Jesus. I am sure that I would be the last person to ask about love, besides Dennis. I can tell you I loved some people, but they died. Maybe I am one of those people that can't love because they are scared. Also the people that were suppose to love me and protect me where the ones beating me when I was just a little kid. What would Freud say? Probably my mommy didn't love me enough. She did just a little too late. I don't know what is going on and I am lost. Don't ask me about love. I can tell you all about angst and mania and all kinds of crazy shit. I love my kids, but how can I not, they are so little and cute. Don't ask me about love, I can tell you all about depression and suicidal ideation. Love is a weapon, I know weapons. Love is a deadly weapon, I have only been on the recieving end of a few times. Tell me where am I going wrong?

How I have Changed

My vacation was outstanding. Thanks to all you assholes who didn't show up to hunt, I had to drink all that booze myself and a darling little angel had to put up with me drunk. She is what made my vacation so grand, even though I spent my days and evenings sitting alone waiting for her, the nights with her were worth it. I had her at the tips of my fingers but I let her get away do to my vices. My worst vice is I am a flirt, and a little drinking ties with going to strip clubs. I grew up very distant from my mother and I was never popular with the ladies as a young man, that is until I earned the title. The Marine Corps help me find my confidence and made me more of a social being. So in order to replace the affection I didn't get from my mother I sought attention from women. I love to have the ladies' attention, and 99 percent of the time it is just talking to them and listening to them laugh. I love it when the turn their heads and I can smell their perfumed hair. I love women, which I think is a healthy thing in males, but I am a little too much of a flirt. If the right person would come my way I still wouldn't drop all my bad behavior. Not changing who I am, I will just flirt with that significant other, and maybe the occasional waitress or bank teller. Those gals are use to it. There is so much I can say about this certain gal, but if any of you are somewhat intelligent you can figure it out. My, what a vacation I had. Now I am depressed I am back in Arizona and I am lonely again and I believe I have lost the attention of this certain very special lady. Seek and I will find, love and I will lose. The story of my life.
I don't eat like I should, this bachelor lifestyle is getting to me. I am not very good at meeting new people, and frankly I think the majority of people are idiots. God hasn't graced me with being able to meet someone who is not totally shallow and stupid. Fucking Reality Television has some of the blame. Really which one of you dumb asses watches that shit? I just want to meet some new friends that get my humor and are local. Only people that are forced to be around me ever get to know me well enough to like me. My one friend suggested I tone it down until they get to know me, I might have to follow up on that suggestion. I guess I am not a likeable guy, I must be intimidating or something? I like me just fine, shouldn't everyone else? That is going to be my new years resolution, to make some friends when I get back from vacation. That is going to be equal to quitting smoking or losing weight to some of you that don't quite know me as well. Well fuck me, I hope I can make some new friends.
I am talking about woman love, not man love, and definitely not that life changing Two Girls One Cup love. I feel as if I lack the capacity to love someone in the cliche manner. I have had women give me their love, but I don't think it was unconditional. I have never loved anyone unconditionally, except Jesus. I am sure that I would be the last person to ask about love, besides Dennis. I can tell you I loved some people, but they died. Maybe I am one of those people that can't love because they are scared. Also the people that were suppose to love me and protect me where the ones beating me when I was just a little kid. What would Freud say? Probably my mommy didn't love me enough. She did, just a little too late. I don't know what is going on and I am lost. Don't ask me about love. I can tell you all about angst and mania and all kinds of crazy shit. I love my kids, but how can I not, they are so little and cute. Don't ask me about love, I can tell you all about XXXXXXX and XXXX XXXXXX. Love is a weapon, I know weapons. Love is a deadly weapon, I have only been on the receiving end of a few times. Tell me, where am I going wrong?

Memories

I have a friend that said I should do a blog about him sometimes, well he done fucked up now. I won't use any real names here to protect the person this story is about. Let's just call him XXX. Now see our friend XXX loves pussy, he can't help it he needs it whenever and however he can get it. They say when you join the Marine Corps they take away your standards and give them back after you get out, well XXX's got lost in supply. I will start with the least crude story first. XXX and my brother decided to go to Club Mercedes, yes that was its real name, and I stayed home for whatever reason with C-Dog to drink. Well at 2am XXX comes in with my brother, but they brought company. My brother had him a little Latina on his arm and she was cute. Well our boy XXX was another story he brought in a forty something Mexican woman that looked like, well do I need to go any further, at least she wasn't fat. You motherfuckers are familiar with taking one for the team right? Well our boy XXX never heard of this concept, to him it was just the thing to do. Well it turns out that this woman was the mother of my brother's conquest. My brother thought XXX was taking one for the team, but XXX had other plans. Boy our boy XXX. In another instance XXX was hunting Indians (Injuns) he liked them big and fat, and can these Indians here get big. Well somehow he got one of these big Indians to fit in a pigeon coop where he proceeded to fucker her. Who the fuck fucks a bitch in a pigeon coop. Now for one of my favorite stories. Our boy XXX likes the black women as well. We brought home one just for him, she was five feet tall in every direction she must have weighed about 300 pounds. Well our boy XXX was in my room with the door closed and I was wondering what he was up too. So me and Jr. decide to bust in real quick and see what was up. As soon as this door opened we see this big naked beast with them legs in the air but we saw no XXX, her side was turned toward us so we could not see between her legs. Just at that moment XXX popped his head out from between this beast's legs. It reminded me of the time I was driving down a country road in N.E. Texas with my then girlfriend Mary Jane and we came upon a dead raccoon laying on its side with its back toward us when I pulled up and flashed my headlights on it a possum popped its head out from where it was eating this dead raccoon. XXX was like this possum eating a disgusting animal. Motherfucker that is all I have to say about that.

Why Not Cat Tags

I have decided to pursue the answer to life's big mysteries. I will let the brainiacs figure out the meaning to life and what comes after. I am going to worry about important shit, like why blacks like fried chicken, and why hispanics are landscapers? I won't worry about who is responsible for 9/11-who cares. I will worry about what sport bigfoot likes to play. You know important shit. What the fuck is wrong with me, I still ain't right. I am impressed that I even have friends let alone women that are interested in me. I am just a plain everyday average Joe six pack trying to make my way in this busy world. I ain't even trying to get rich, just survive. I don't know if you guys know this but I live everyday wondering if I am going to smoke myself or not. Some days are good days, most days are good days. A few are not. I like to eat my steaks medium, beef is good shit, but deer meat is proof God loves us. Why do most of you read this shit if you do? I know some of you love me. I sit down to write this shit and I have no clue what is coming out. Motherfuck, I need to apologize about telling the world I ruined my wife by -deleted- of a bitch. My ex-wife really ain't that bad. I am sure I could have done worse. She was a little pretty and fat. Some people are just fat and that is it. I really don't go for fat chix but I don't say no either. In all honesty I really don't give a shit as long as I get some attention. Am I wrong, fuck it. I love women just not too many skinny ones. Like I said I am the real deal. Bigfoot would hang out with me, I even bet that motherfucker drinks the beast. I remember Kevin Cagle had the beast NASCAR, that is until Gina wrecked it-thanks girl, I used the engine and tranny to build my Grey Ghost. I use to be pretty good with my hands and I am still good with one hand...Haiku time bitches

Brown Shaft Wrapped Firmly
Snake Stroked Ever So Briskly
One Eyed Monster Spit

What the fuck is wrong with a nigger? I love you all. Tell me, What is wrong with me?

Frite Chicken

I loves fried chicken motherfuckers. I am a fried chicken eating motherfucker, motherfucker. I was going to do some primitive survival one weekend out in the desert but I only have one free weekend here in the next several weeks and it is too cold to be running around in the desert naked, and we remembered what happened last time I did that shit...I want to practice making a fire using only stone tools and shit I gather from the Earth (ERF). I have been a good boy I haven't drank that much, flirted that much, or killed any cats in a long time. I don't remember the last cat I killed intentionally, only the accidental ones. I did kill some a kitten this morning in the shower though. Well I didn't kill the kitten, God did, but I was directly responsible for it. If you haven't figured out all these years what I am talking about google "God kills a kitten". Fuck it I started smoking this week. I bought a pack of Newports for a nigger to smoke and I hacked a fucking lung. Why the fuck did I decide to start smoking-that's right I wanted to be a cool motherfucker wif some menthols (memfalls) as you have noticed I am helping to teach you fuckers ebonix so you can understand my native language better. I am not from Africa but as yous may know I am 1/8th black (nigger) so I am classified as black according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Put that in your pipes and smoke it motherfuckers. I also think I am going to quit smoking this week and take up drinking again. Drinking doesn't make me stink -that bad. Unless I pull a three day bender and don't shower and I soak in my own dead brain cells nikkas. I love fried chicken thus I must be black, perfect reasoning. Bitches.

The Day

A lady friend that is very special suggest I write today to tell you all about the days event. Today at 1400 hours is the court date for my divorce. I really don't give a shit and I am not even showing up. Fuck it. Motherfuck it. I have a default divorce because my soon to be ex wife and I decided to settle everything sans a court. Good for us, we hadn't decided on a house to buy yet, thank God. So we had no assets to fight over, we split things up when she left. I didn't want anything except the washer and dryer and a couch and chair. She sold the washer and dryer on me. I don't know if it is the divorce thing hanging over my head, but I feel a disturbance among the stars, something isn't right. I get these feeling from time to time and I am not sure if I am jaded right now due to my situation. I don't have TV, so I won't write about that bullshit, sorry Nikka. It appears I am suppose to know about this movie The Notebook I knew it was a book because I see chix reading it. It is suppose to be the drag queen of all chick flix. If you look on myspace like I have you will notice that every woman has it as her favorite movie, I should have taken that as a cue. If you want to get laid be seen buying or renting a copy of The Notebook, any chick that sees this in your sweaty formerly occupied by your member hand will creme her panties and you will get laid twice. I should have hatched this devious plot years ago, I'm gonna wear my wiener out. Of to Hastings I go...

Gift from God

Thank you God in Heaven for the Gift you gave to me. The blood in my body the Gift is. The self that is my soul. I lay at the edge of despair. The pit that knows no hope. And God sends me this Gift. Small at first, my angel, then she grows. My Gift from heaven. My Gift gives me light for I know enough of darkness, my Gift gives me life. Thank you God for this Gift given unto me by your hand, it seems as I held your other. May God have mercy on my soul, my Gift has saved me from eternal damnation at the feet of the bearer of light. Thank you God for the Gift that gives me love and I love in return, the Gift is sweet the Gift is life. Thank you Lord for this Gift. My Gift is a Goddess, perhaps it is light quite divine. My Gift she grows and grows.

Boozing

Drinking and driving
I likes to drink Captain Morgan Spiced Rum and Bud Light beer. I was in a bar called The Western Club and I saw a poster of Bud Man and he had a bottle of Bud, Bud Light, and Bud Dry. I was like you know that poster is old if there is Bud Dry do you negroes remember those commercials? Why ask why, try Bud Dry. I also remember the commercials for Dianetics from L.Ron Hubbard fame. It would ask a question like "are you really real?" then it would say "Read Dianetics, by L. Ron Hubbard". I can barely remember Bud Man cuz I wasn't old enough to even think much less drink. I agree with Matt Stone and Trey Parker when they made fun of P. Nikkaz "vote or die" campaign. Think of all the idiots watching MTV that have zero clue about how elections work or even what is happening in the world apart from the life and times of Brittney Spears. That is one raggedy bitch. I liked how South Park made fun of "Vote or Die" a colored person is running around rapping vote or die motherfucker, vote or die bitch. Now if I get pulled over after drinking even one beer or some nyquil I am gonna be in trouble. I think the blood alcohol level for a DUI is .06 which is like opening a beer and sniffing it. So if I open a beer or sip on some rum I might as well camp out where I am at because I sure as hell ain't driving. I don't need a DUI or anything like that. I am used to drinking six beers then driving home, but those days are over with. And Arizona is raising the taxes on alcohol how are they going to make more money if they are putting a stigma on everybody that drank one beer and drove. Does the government want everyone on welfare and under the thumb of the legal system, yes they do. I am tired of the gummint trying to control everyone by limiting them. I remember a twilight zone episode were the government tested all kids when they turned twelve and if they were too smart they disappeared. I believe the government prefers dumb people that just nod and go along with everything the government feeds them. Christopher Walken is my uncle. End Rant.

Ice Angels

If Edward Scissorhands lived out here we might get some snow as he would dance and scissor ice and shit making big ice dicks and ice pussies with over sized clits. Edward Scissorhands is the shit, poor misunderstood soul. Edward was a normal young lad frolicking around the mansion grounds running with his scissors as he always did. His days were filled with killing cats and cutting up furniture, you see he wasn't always the innocent, wounded character we all know and love. He was a deviant, mean and evil little shit, always cutting the old mans moustache funny as he slept and chopping off dogs ears...that is until one day. When Little Edward was 13 he discovered a stiffness in his knickerbockers and it excited his curiosity. Being the little shit he is he cut a hole in his britches and out popped weeman. Little Edward was fascinated he always liked to kill the cats in the neighborhood, but he heard the neighborhood boys talking about killing kittens while they were looking at some sort of magazine with naked ladies in it. Edward knew that killing kittens had to be more fun than killing kats so he gave it a snip, but there was no fun. Poor little Edward had cut his wiener clean off. Killing kittens was not fun, and no more would be killing cats, or any of the other mischievous things he was accustomed to doing. Poor little Edward grew up that day and became the Edward Scissorhands we love to this day and you know the rest of the story.

The Corner

My brother and I must have been some pretty bad kids growing up. Everyday when our mom's boyfriend got home we got the beatings. A lot of times I don't remember what we did wrong, it must have been something bad though because the beatings came. When my mom would whip us my brother would take the blame, but when the old man whipped us I would often spare my brother the whippings. One time my brother and I left the milk out of the refrigerator. We were beat with a 1"x4" board that day, I remember this because it broke on me. We were not allowed to cry when we got our whippings and our mother never said a word or comforted us, that is how I knew we were bad. Usually the belt whippings were the best ones to get because they did not include hitting or kicking, just being hit from the neck down to the calves. I wasn't scared of the belt even though it made us bleed. I was scared of the beatings that were outside where weapons of opportunity lay about, an extension cord here a water hose there, a pile of lumber to be throw into there. I tried to stop moving once and maybe it would stop but it didn't I was just kicked and told to get up, and I would crawl a little further till I was kicked down. My brother and I were bad kids we never knew what we had done wrong until the end of the day, so instead of living in fear we did what we wanted, being bad kids. We never tried to run away we just faced what was coming. We never told because even our own mother wouldn't listen. We just knew we wanted to kill this man. That is how I remember the day my brother and I grew up Tim was 13 and I was 12 and we just got a beating for something not even worth remembering and we told the old devil that he was done and we wouldn't get beat anymore, because he had to sleep sometime. He looked at the monsters he had created as if to say deal, then turned and walked away.